Basically my bf has given me ample opportunities to tell him the truth about my past with my previous bf. All he wants is the complete truth about everything down the the very last detail. Every single detail must be mentioned or it’s considered an omission or lie. First of all before we were together he was a virgin. He asked about my past but since it was my past I didn’t want to go into details I felt like it was ok to hide it from him. My ex and I had a very sexual relationship and i lied off the bat saying that we had only had sex once. I never changed any of that and later he finds out it was much more than once and is crushed by it because he feels that I used him. Did I use him? I don’t feel that I did I feel like these things happened and were part of a 3 year relationship. But I feel horrible about this. First off I started dating him the day after I broke up with my ex. He was pretty much the push of my breaking up with my ex. Even though I intended to do so I sorta rushed it and broke up with my ex and got with him the next day. I cheated on my bf [no sex] by going to my ex bf’s apartment and made out with him and slept on his bed next to him. There was no sex but nonetheless I was still able to keep that secret from him until now 9 months into the relationship. I’ve changed the story about what happened several times. First I said that it was a light kiss and a slap. Then I said ok no slap but a kiss, then i said ok it was a make out, then later I went on to say ok it was a makeout and i slept next to him.That’s the truth. He wants ALL the details and I understand but it’s shameful to confess and hurtful to continue to slowly pour out these truths. I went to my ex’s apartment 4 times total in our relationship, two with his permission and two without. We talked on the phone behind his back and eventually it ended. We closed it off and agreed to both just drop it. My bf knows this and he forgave me for it pretty much but he’s all emotionally wrecked because of my lies.

Also my sexual past with my ex bf is a huge factor in his thoughts. I lied about being in an abusive relationship, about making love, and about certain sexual things we did. He asked if we did in unprotected which we did but it wasn’t completely sex it was in and out and that was it. I try to explain to him that love making with HIM is what I believe to be true love making but he insists that no matter how I paint it I did indeed make love to my ex. I told him that after we would be done it’d feel void, wrong, used, unhappy and that even though there were times when my intention was to make love it usually left me unhappy in the end. He wants every detail like I said. To me they are shameful to tell and even when he’s caught me in a lie I’ve only given him partial truths or I add more lies to make it seem like it makes sense. I’ve had to withdraw lies I’ve made which at this point I’m not even sure which is worse, the hidden lies or the lies on top of lies or the truth about my sexual past with my ex.

I am willing to get treatment for my compulsive lying disorder…this I know is true because even to my parents I lie, it’s not just to him.

We are also considering doing couples counseling. Am I completely wrong about everything? I know the lies are bad but looking at the whole situation where do we go from here? Is our relationship salvageable?

I love him incredibly and even though I’ve lied to him repeatedly and hid things from him I STILL love him no matter what it looks like and I don’t want to lose him.

I think i have social anxiety disorder or avoidant personality disorder. But because I doubt myself (and i’m sure others will), I want your opinion. According to these details… would you say I have either of these disorders or something else/nothing?

Here are some weird things I do:

* Anytime I am given criticism/rejected I become highly disturbed and the thought never leaves me. I use it against myself all the time. Even a small remark hurts me very badly.
* Almost 6/7 days out of week I lock myself in my room. Unless my parents force me out, I stay in here.
* I don’t have friends, I’m afraid everyone hates me. I also don’t make attempts to keep contact with those who want to be friends. Someone tried to visit me at my house, and I began yelling and crying at my mom to make them leave.
* I cannot answer phones, or call others unless I know them. For the fear the person on other side will think I’m dumb.
* I have tried to force myself to drink alcohol because I thought it would make me feel happy.
* I have considered taking drugs.
* I am very cynical. I cannot trust anyone. I always assume the worst.
* I have thought about killing myself and considered it, but chickened out.
* I always feel alone (I pretty much am).
* I turn to online video games for happiness.
* I get very nervous if I have to perform anything for anyone. For instance, I cannot get my drivers license because I’m afraid the instructor will hate me. I cannot present, I’ve taken F for grades and even made myself nausea to escape it. The times I have attempted presenting, I stammer, stutter, become clumsy, sweat, blush, shake, loose my ability to speak, etc. (I can’t even read a line out of a book without freaking out.) Sometimes I can’t even get up in front of my own family for the fear of ridicule.
* I always feel like ALL other girls are prettier than me. I am constantly changing my appearance to look like them, but it never turns out.
* I have only dated one person in my life, and it’s still hard for me to stay in the relationship. I always fear he dislikes me, will cheat on me, etc.
* I cannot get intimate for the fear I might be perceived as disgusting or ugly, or that it will be painful.
* I am highly irritable, and always angry or depressed.
* I would randomly cry in class. I cry almost every day at home.
* I have rapid mood changes
* I cannot go anywhere without someone I know. For the fear people may perceive me as a loner and therefore hate me.
* I am very self-conscious, to the point I won’t eat at all and etc.
* Sometimes I hate myself so much, I won’t have the desire to do anything even if it’s fun. I won’t bathe, eat, sleep, talk and I’ll make myself sick.
* I tend to think everyone else is so great, and I’m so jealous that I hate everyone now.
* I don’t believe I’ll succeed in anything. I don’t believe I can do anything right, or that I’m good at anything. Therefore making it hard to pick an occupation to focus on in college.
* Whenever I go anywhere, I always focus on my image and how people perceive me.
* I am constantly wanting to know how people feel about me and I will dramatically change anything about me to make them like me.
* I always seem to be unhappy, even though I know I have nothing to complain about.
* Sometimes (like when my boyfriend wants a hug/kiss/sexual activities) I will distance myself from people to avoid having to do something for the fear I will do it wrong.
* I really want friends, but I care way too much about how they feel about me to the extent I can’t even enjoy myself.

I’m sorry if this was long, or stupid. I just need help, I don’t know what I have but there’s so much more about me that I haven’t even wrote down. I just want to know if I have any sign of a particular disorder so I can get treatment. Please help!

he the problem… my friends and family think i have OCD, i kind of agree, and is seeking help….i tend to get aggravated when things are out of order or missing…some say I’m too much of an perfectionist, example: ill rewrite an essay all over if i like mess up or if it sloppy…. i sometimes cant sleep or concentrate on a task when i know something misplaced or out of order…. is there any kind of treatment for this….

Since first grade my parents have known I’ve had terrible anxiety issues. And I guess after first grade it kind of not went away but was under control. So, we thought that was then end of it.
Back in September, I started to have really bad anxiety attacks and my parents took me back to a psychologist and we found out I had bipolar, which runs in my family. From September until January I had tried 5 different medicines, none of them really worked and I haven’t taken them since. I was okay with out them for a while, since they weren’t really to control depression issues but the manic side. I personally don’t want to take the pills because I don’t like how I feel when I’m on them, and the depression isn’t a problem right now. But since I think February my sleep cycle has been really messed up, when I was on meds. my sleep was under control. But I can’t sleep at night, and when I do normally get to sleep it’s around 5am. (Back in September my parents pulled me out of school because I had missed to much) I don’t think it’s insomnia because it will be like one day I won’t sleep at all, the next day I can sleep for over 14 hours, the day after that I’ll have normal sleep and then it will repeat. My parents have been worried, but since I have been getting work done and my sleep is the only thing thats really messed up they haven’t been pushing me to take medicine. My sleep pattern is starting to bother me, and I don’t want to have the constant changes in it.

To the question, are there any natural, or alternative treatments for bpd? Medicine right now is not going to be an option. I’ve been looking into alternative treatments, and some say a good schedule will help. Any tips on how to help get my sleep pattern normal again?

Thanks.

I’m diagnosed w/ a ton of things, the main being bipolar II (also borderline personality, apeothetic narcolepsy, anxiety disorder, and am under testing for possible epilepsy). Lately, I’ve noticed my sleeping is erratic…I’ll go and go, but not feel tired, until I finally just drop. Then, I sleep for at least 12 hours. I’ve having weeks at a time where I only sleep every 2 days. I’ve been manic, but I’ve never done anything like this. However, I’m not more energetic that usual…in fact, I spend most of my time watching movies or on the computer, for hours on end. I have to force myself to take showers, brush my teeth, etc. Occasionally, I am able to do one item of housecleaning around my home. Right now, I am unemployed due to these problems, and having trouble getting into a therapist. I don’t really know what’s going on, it’s like being extremely depressed and yet highly manic at the same time. I’m unmedicated and have not been able to afford treatment for some time (although this recently changed). I guess my question is, what is going on?

PS I’m not having all or even most of the symptoms I have with either phase, just some symptoms of both. I’ve also been rather apathetic and somewhat hostile, and uninvolved with those around me.
diagnosed as bipolar 7 years ago. borderline shortly thereafter (less than a year). narcolepsy was about 3 years ago, epilepsy is suspected since jan.
And I wouldn’t describe myself as ‘a mess.’ In fact, I’ve never heard someone with any knowledge in the psychiatry field use such a term.

Close family member desperately needs mental treatment: childhood seizures (not epilepsy) and behavioral probs. continued into adult issues including depression, paranoia, anxiety, anger, and reclusiveness, abandonment issues (adopted), real-world effects in daily life including homelessness, detachment from family and friends, unhealthy eating/sleeping habits, and occasional alcohol abuse. Refuses suggestions to go to dr. or hospital, last dr. who saw him was at least 3 yrs. ago. Years of this cycle have led us/some drs. to speculate bipolar disorder or even (mild) schizophrenia, but he hasn’t opened up to a dr. or stuck w/ it long enough for good diagnosis; fears medication. NOW, he has gone through a breakup and is in VERY bad shape - all symptoms have returned, & acting distracted, seemingly unaware of the presence of others or not recognizing others (seems like act for attention but also serious), detachment, no eating, shaking, claiming "I’m fine" but OBVIOUSLY not. Now what?
He is now 29 y.o. Seizures started in pre-teens, behavioral probs very early (temper tantrums especially) last seizure around 16 I think. Adoption means no med. history, but he also feels that birthmom "made him this way" and has threatened to "f’n kill her" if he ever found her. Still considering forced intervention but fearful of his retaliation, esp. since he’s paranoid that we’re not out to HELP him, just out to put him away or something negative like that.
Also: would it be helpful or harmful to let him read this, in your opinion?

I’m 21.
When I was 14, I was diagnosed as major depressive but my mother refused treatment.
When I was 16 I began to get bi-yearly migraines that were so bad I wanted to kill myself when I had one.
When I was 19, they became stronger and more frequent, lasting for days or a week at a time.
A year ago, when I was 20, my personality changed. I used to be generally happy and chipper, very outgoing and sociable. I went from that to happy, hyper, irritable some days and depressed, antisocial, moody other days. I thought it was normal life I guess.
About 8-9 months ago, my boyfriend (of 4 years) and friends noticed this personality change. I lost most of my friends and they completely stopped inviting me to hang out with them.
My boyfriend and I started fighting and he started talking to a girl from his work that we both knew. I found out he was hiding their ‘friendship’ from me and I went “insane” as he put it. I would attack him, I screamed at him and her, and I ended up getting banned from his work for it, even though I’m friends with the managers. He started saying things like “crazy bipolar bitch” “psycho” etc.
I called my Dr. and got set up with a psychiatrist. I had one hour with her and she immediately put me on Depakote, saying it was a mood stabilizer that would help me sleep better.
-I have vivid, violent, very real feeling dreams/nightmares on a nightly basis. I have had them sparingly throughout life, but now they are almost every single night.
-I can’t concentrate in school and either fail or drop out of most of my classes.
-I’m irritable, moody, etc. to the point where I have no friends now. None. I spent my 21st birthday alone [with only my boyfriend] because of this.
-I constantly feel like everyone is talking about me. I feel like I hear them talking about me, so I exclude myself from things.
-I went through 3 jobs in 18 months, I quit two and was let go from the third, all because of antisocialism.

When I looked up Depakote, I found it’s used in the treatment of bipolar disorder. My psychiatrist never mentioned this, even though me and my boyfriend suspected it.
When I told my mother about it, she said “mental disorders like that don’t exist. It’s just a reason for them to prescribe drugs for people to live everyday life numbly.” And, “it’s just a cop-out for everyday feelings.”

So my questions are, I guess, for people who have been DIAGNOSED bipolar:

-Before you were diagnosed, what was it like?
-What age were you diagnosed?
-Do/Did you ever get violent dreams that are vivid, like you are really there? Dreams where people are dying VERY violently?
-Did you ever feel total rage for no reason? Did you wake up some days angry at nothing?
-One day about a year or so ago, I felt like the world had completely changed, but I didn’t know what was different. Did something like this happen to you?
-How did you deal with it after you were diagnosed? Did you tell people about it or were you embarrassed? I want to get my friends back, and they’ve admitted that they miss me, but they still won’t hang out with me.

I generally would like to know how it went about before, during, and after diagnoses for you. Comments/thoughts on my experiences are welcomed as well.

Thanks in advance for reading/answering.
I didn’t know it would automatically edit profanity.

I am a U.S. military veteran and I suffer from PTSD. Aside from counseling and sleeping pills, treatment options are limited. My brother came to my house and had me try some marijuana and it seemed to help. I got my appitite back, slept the best I have in a long time, and didnt feel all drugged up. I live in Michigan (where med Marijuana is legal) and didn’t know if I should try to get it for my PTSD.

I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and so does my dad. But I know that he would not be willing to receive any type of treatment for it but I am. I am so sick of doing things a certain number of times, and making sure something is in my room 5 times before I can go to sleep, and making sure I turn off the blow dryer x nmber of times every single day! Part of me wants to control it so I can be normal but the obsessive part of me always takes over. I feel like I can’t control it! What should I do?? Are there any meds I could take?
Thank you!!

i was just sitting in my chair on the computer and i got really nervous all of a sudden for no reason. im also shaking (not much tho) and sweating. i get them all the time. anywhere. at school, home, but i get them most in the car. is this a disorder. why do people have panic attacks? does it have something to do with stress or not enough sleep? what are some treatments for it?